Awkward silence is… well it’s awkward. What do you talk about? What don’t you talk about? Do you just power through the silence and hope the other person has something to say? I guess it depends on whether you’re fine with the silence.
I found an
article from Chris Colin and Rob Baedeker on TED Talk, How to Turn Small Talkinto Smart Conversation. In the article they talk about several
different ways to have more of a conversation to fill in the silence. What it
talked about is asking for a story and not just a one or two word answers. Ask
open-ended questions to make the other person talk to you. Ask questions that
will start up more of a story instead of just a yes or no answer, leading to
the awkward silence. I thought this could be beneficial to those of us who
aren’t comfortable with the silence.
Chris is an
author/journalist and Rob is a writer/performer/and a comedian so there are
some pretty off the wall suggestions, I’m guess from Rob. Here are a few of
their “Instead of” and “Try” ideas to use:
Instead of: Try:
How are you? What’s
your story?
How was your
day? What
did you do today?
Where are
you from? What’s
the strangest thing about where you grew up?
How long
have you been living here? If
you could teleport by blinking your eyes, where would
you go right now?
What line of
work are you in? How’d
you end up in your line of work?
How was your
weekend? What
was the best part of your weekend?
Mirroring in
a conversation. Have you heard of that? It’s were a reply back is pretty much
the same as what was said in the first place.
For example:
Donna: It is
so hot outside.
Steph: Yes,
it sure is hot outside.
And that
ends that conversation. Instead of ‘mirroring’ what Donna said, Steph could
have gone with something like, “It sure is hot outside. The weatherman said
it’s a good idea to stay inside because you may melt upon exiting your house.”
The article
also suggested to jump on the conversation and try and make the most out of it as
you can. Being absurd or comical was encouraged. Be creative and “leapfrog”
over the conversation by taking the boring out of what the answer typically
would be and answer with a complete tangent.
Instead of:
Greg: Where
did you get that fishing rod?
Eddie:
Cabela’s.
Try:
Greg: Where
did you get that fishing rod?
Eddie: At
Cabela’s but I also saw the coolest thing there! They had this deer blind that
was so camouflaged that you had to put a tracker on it so that you could find
it so I bought that, too! You get this free app with it to track it. And then,
a couple weeks later I got a hardback catalog in the mail. Now that is some
good reading material there.
Some of us
are completely fine with silence and that’s ok. For those of us who are not, I
hope this helps.
Author’s of
TED Talk: Chris Colin and Rob Baedeker
Date:
7/28/2014
Title: How to Turn Small Talk into Smart Conversation
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