Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Liven Up Your Small Talk


Awkward silence is… well it’s awkward. What do you talk about? What don’t you talk about? Do you just power through the silence and hope the other person has something to say? I guess it depends on whether you’re fine with the silence.

I found an article from Chris Colin and Rob Baedeker on TED Talk, How to Turn Small Talkinto Smart Conversation. In the article they talk about several different ways to have more of a conversation to fill in the silence. What it talked about is asking for a story and not just a one or two word answers. Ask open-ended questions to make the other person talk to you. Ask questions that will start up more of a story instead of just a yes or no answer, leading to the awkward silence. I thought this could be beneficial to those of us who aren’t comfortable with the silence.

Chris is an author/journalist and Rob is a writer/performer/and a comedian so there are some pretty off the wall suggestions, I’m guess from Rob. Here are a few of their “Instead of” and “Try” ideas to use:

Instead of:                                                                    Try:
How are you?                                                                What’s your story?

How was your day?                                                       What did you do today?

Where are you from?                                                    What’s the strangest thing about where you                                                                                                                                   grew up?

How long have you been living here?                           If you could teleport by blinking your eyes,                                                                                                                                      where would you go right now?

What line of work are you in?                                       How’d you end up in your line of work?

How was your weekend?                                             What was the best part of your weekend?


Mirroring in a conversation. Have you heard of that? It’s were a reply back is pretty much the same as what was said in the first place.  For example:

Donna: It is so hot outside.
Steph: Yes, it sure is hot outside.

And that ends that conversation. Instead of ‘mirroring’ what Donna said, Steph could have gone with something like, “It sure is hot outside. The weatherman said it’s a good idea to stay inside because you may melt upon exiting your house.”

The article also suggested to jump on the conversation and try and make the most out of it as you can. Being absurd or comical was encouraged. Be creative and “leapfrog” over the conversation by taking the boring out of what the answer typically would be and answer with a complete tangent.

Instead of:
Greg: Where did you get that fishing rod?
Eddie: Cabela’s.

Try:
Greg: Where did you get that fishing rod?
Eddie: At Cabela’s but I also saw the coolest thing there! They had this deer blind that was so camouflaged that you had to put a tracker on it so that you could find it so I bought that, too! You get this free app with it to track it. And then, a couple weeks later I got a hardback catalog in the mail. Now that is some good reading material there.

Some of us are completely fine with silence and that’s ok. For those of us who are not, I hope this helps.


Author’s of TED Talk: Chris Colin and Rob Baedeker
Date: 7/28/2014
Title: How to Turn Small Talk into Smart Conversation

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